Unhappy Valentines Day

I had a date with Canadian Boy for Valentines Day. This is what happened.

I didn’t see him a lot on Thursday and Friday. Saturday I sent him a message asking him what time we were going out on Sunday. “I’ll call you later” he sent back. And I just knew right then and there I was getting dumped.

Later over the phone he told me that an old friend had come back into his life. Things had got romantic, one thing had led to another, he was confused, etc. The basic gist was that I was out. I was pretty hurt, I have to admit. I really liked him.

The Bit sent me a message that he was getting home early from his most recent tattoo appointment and would be hanging out at home, would I like to join him? The thought of getting dumped and then hanging out with someone who had just dumped me the week before as well seemed like torture, but if I didn’t go I would be all by myself at home going crazy.

We had a couple classes of wine and talked. It’s very, very apparent that he thinks of me as a friend and nothing more. The kicker is that there is nothing worse that hanging out with a strategies planner when you have a broken heart. He was trying to be very constructive. Maybe I should travel! Let’s write a life plan! As helpful as he was trying to be, I just was too sad to think about where I wanted to be in the next 4 years.

By the end of the night, I had drunk way too much, and the gravity of the fact that I had been rejected very nicely by The Brit, and in the most awful way by Canadian Boy was just all too much. I was in big, messy tears. There was nothing The Brit could say to make me feel better unless it was “I’m sorry, you’re wonderful, I love you.” So I went home.

I was so full of hurt and rage. Sour text messaged flew from my phone to Canadian Boy. “how could you do this to me, your breaking my heart”. And then random texts came in from friends “hey! Want 2 go out!”, “no I just got dumped twice today”, “OH sorry r u ok?”. This went on for awhile. I never should have hoped. I never should have picked out my outfit. I never should have painted my toes red. Sending out these bitter messages to Canadian Boy, getting the same awful answers back. More from my lovely friends, telling me it’s not me, I’m great, they’re all dickheads. The two messages, so completely contradictory, and at the same time, made my drunken head spin. In a fit of rage and tears and misery, I lurched down the hall, tripped over the step down into my bathroom, and threw the heck up.

                                                                                       …

That night I didn’t sleep well. I kept playing things back over and over. Nice things they had said. All my hopes that things would go right. I miss everyone who has ever broken my heart all at once. I wake up on February the 14th with a head clear of all but one thought; they just don’t love you.

At work that day at the salon I have some great clients. A grandma getting her nails done and then seeing her grandkids. A very single girl like me who laughs and sighs over the misfortune of it all with me. Giggly girls on their way to dates getting their nails painted pink. Chinese girls on their way to Chinese New Year, getting their nails red for good luck, and laughing at the economy of the color as they have dates later that night as well. Thank goodness it’s busy.

So my Valentines Day ends with the following;

Recipe for a Broken Heart

  • 100g butter
  • 150g caster sugar
  • 75g brown or muscovado sugar
  • 125g  left over Terry’s Chocolate Orange (or the rest of the chocolate left over in the house from Christmas
  • 1 tbsp golden syrup
  • 2 eggs
  • 100g plain flour
  • ½ tsp baking powder
  • 2 tbsp cocoa powder
  • Heat oven to 180C. Grease and line a 20cm cake tin.
  • Place the butter, caster sugar, brown sugar, chocolate and golden syrup in the pan and melt gently on a low heat until it is smooth and lump-free.
  • Remove the pan from the heat.
  • Break the eggs into the bowl and whisk with the fork until light and frothy. 5 Add the eggs, vanilla extract or essence, flour, baking powder and cocoa powder to the chocolate mixture and mix thoroughly.
  • Put the mixture into the greased and lined cake tin and place on the middle shelf of the oven. Bake for 25-30 mins.
  • Remove and allow to cool for 20-30 mins before cutting into wedges and serving.

Serve with a fork, an entire bottle of Chardony and a DVD of Wet Hot American Summer.

Serves 1.

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One response to “Unhappy Valentines Day

  1. Hey I would have to say that that was a sad ending to something hopeful, I sympathize with you in every way. things go rough in lfe but then they get so much better and that is the focus you need. I hope that this message has inspired you to move on gracefully and with your head up as great things will happen for you.

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